Zero Gravity
by Okami No Yume
Summary: Introspective Wolf's Rain character drabbles. Updated after a long hiatus. Chapter four: Toboe
1. Chapter 1

**Zero Gravity**

**Standard Disclaimers apply.** I do not own _Wolf's Rain._ It belongs to BONES.

**A/N: **It's been awhile since I've done one of these. I was re-watching the series, and this idea floated into my head. This is meant to be an exercise of sorts to hopefully conquer my writer's block. This is a stand-alone for now, but I may further expand it to include other character drabbles, like for Tsume, Toboe, Hige, Blue, Cher, Darcia, Quent, Hub, Hamona, Cheza...you get the idea. Depends on the interest this garners. And by interest, I mean like three reviews, if I'm lucky. (...and no, that's NOT me begging for reviews. I know that's unattractive and makes me sound desperate.) I am aware this isn't the most active of fandoms. However, reviews are, of course, always greatly appreciated.

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_They say there's no such place as Paradise. Even if you search to the ends of the Earth...there's nothing there._

As I lay here, soft flakes drifting onto my snow-white fur and melting at the contact of my body heat, it is these thoughts that are running through my head.

Nothing. Can that really be true? I wonder. Is all this for nothing? Is my search in vain?

_No matter how far you walk, it's always the same road that just goes on and on._

I've been running for so long. Miles upon miles. It feels like it's never ending. I don't remember the last time I ate. It must be three weeks now since I've managed to find prey. Food is scarce out here.

_But in spite of that, why am I so driven to find it?_

My golden eyes close, and I drift into that limbo between slumber and wakefulness.

I do wonder why. Why do I push myself beyond my limits? Why do I run for days, even weeks on end? Why do I run until my paws are cracked and bleeding, until my lungs burn and my muscles ache, until I collapse when I'm well past the point of exhaustion?

The truth is, I love running. I love the exhilaration, the rush of adrenaline, the feel of my muscles expanding and contracting, basking in the knowledge that I am free and strong and _alive_.

When I run, it feels like I'm flying.

_A voice calls to me. It says "Search for Paradise."_

I see...a vision. I'm no longer lying in the bleak, desolate snow field with the heavy gray sky above me. I feel the warmth of the sun. Crystal clear blue lakes that mirror the color of the blue skies above me. I'm surrounded by rich, verdant green fields.

I know, I am seeing a vision of Paradise.

Perhaps it's a dream? Or maybe a mere hallucination?

I cannot say. All I know is that every fiber of my being demands that I search, demands that I find out what lies at the end of this path that I travel.

I will go to the ends of the Earth. To the ends of eternity, if that's what it takes.

It's a compulsion. Almost an obsession.

And when I finally reach the end, only then will I rest.

But not now. It's been three days since I've seen the moon, and basked in its nourishing glow. Without it, I am beginning to weaken.

I get up, stumbling a bit. I gather the last reserves of my strength and begin to lope. There's a city not far. I can smell the faint traces of civilization- oil, machinery, smoke...mingled with something else. The scent of lunar flowers.

I must go there. Feeling a sudden burst of energy, I break from a lope into a run.

It's here, I know it. The beacon that will guide me to Paradise.

As I run, I suddenly feel light. Almost weightless as I bound over the snow, my tracks disappearing almost as quickly as I create them. I am like a ghost, and nearly as silent.

_Is this what zero gravity's like?_

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So, yeah. What did you think? Love it? Hate it? Like it? Did I capture Kiba's character? (He felt a bit OOC to me, to be honest.) Should I continue writing more of these? Regardless, I'm glad I got this out of my system. My Kiba muse has been nipping at my heels lately. I don't give him nearly enough attention.


	2. Chapter 2

**Battle Scars**

So it's me again. I've finally decided to update this thing, and I've got the writing itch. Tsume started gnawing at me, so I thought I'd finally give him the spotlight. I hope I manage to keep him somewhat IC. This is also a response to a writing challenge on LiveJournal. The theme was "depth."

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It's strange, how Fate has brought us all together, uniting us all in one common goal. To find Paradise. _Our _Paradise.

A Paradise where we all wouldn't have to hide who we really were. Where we could all be free. A place where we wolves wouldn't have to live in fear, and to not have to listen for the cocking of a rifle. A place where there would be no sickness, and no death. A place where we would never grow old or weak. Where cubs wouldn't be robbed of their parents. A place where none of us would go hungry ever again, and where it is always summer, and there are no winters to endure.

And flowers. I can imagine Lunar Flowers as far as the eye can see, their scent thick and heavy in the eternal summer air.

This is what I imagine Paradise to be like.

That is, assuming it exists.

It certainly sounds far better than the frozen hell I came from. I spent two years in Freeze City, scrounging around in the trash, trying to get by, barely surviving, stealing from the Nobles. When I came to the city, weak, starving, and near death, I swallowed my wolf's pride and assumed a human guise to become the leader of a street gang. I tried to tell myself that such a lifestyle suited me just fine, but I knew, deep down, that it was no way for a wolf to live. A wolf is meant to be out in the wilds hunting and running with its pack, not picking through the garbage to find something that you hoped was still edible. However, survival took precedence over pride. I'm covered in scars from run ins with humans, nobles, and fights with strays over the most meager scraps of food.

Since I was cast out from my pack, I no longer had a family to call my own. I no longer belonged. My father slashed my chest open and banished me permanently, as punishment for the deaths of our pack members.

Deaths that were my fault. Even now, that day haunts my nightmares as I hear their dying cries. In human form, I run my fingers absently over my X-shaped scar. It's just one more reminder of the shame I carry.

When we reach Paradise, will I see my old pack again? Will I see my fallen friends? My parents? Will I see my father again? Will he forgive me for my betrayal?

So many questions. I suppose they'll be answered when we get there.

At first, I was skeptical at the idea of Paradise. I thought Kiba was just some crazy loner who believed in Paradise, when most of us thought it was nothing more than a fairytale to tell to cubs. But Kiba...he believes in it with an almost religious fervor. Perhaps he's mad. Perhaps we're all mad for following him. Maybe at the end of this road, we'll find Paradise. Or maybe we'll find nothing at all. I'm not sure if I believe that Paradise is real, but there's a part of me that wants to believe, that wants it to be true.

Regardless, I'll walk this path with Kiba, the pup and Porky-my new pack brothers, and I'll see it through to the bitter end.

Even if it does end up leading to hell.

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A/N: Meh, not my best, but this has been sitting in my harddrive for months. I thought I'd finish it. Anyways, reviews are appreciated. Next up: Blue!


	3. Chapter 3

**Not A Dog, Not A Wolf**

**A/N:** This one is for Blue. The title is from the movie Balto. I thought it was fitting.

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So, here I am.

I find myself wondering, not for the first time, how did I get here?

How did I end up abandoning Pops and running with this ragtag bunch of wolves, the very same wolves that I was tracking down mere weeks ago?

Ever since meeting Cheza, I feel like something inside me has been awakened; the part of me that was wolf that was always dormant. The part that yearns to run beneath the stars, howl at the moon, and hunt with a pack.

But there is another part of me that misses Pops, too, who was always good to me-we spent many nights sharing a fire out in the wilderness and he'd always give me a portion of the meat that he would get from our hunts, if we were lucky enough to find game. I would often thrust my muzzle beneath his hand and lick his fingers, and he'd silently reach behind my ears and pet me. I'd sit vigil over him during the night on the watch for mountain lions and bears, and I usually managed to make them keep their distance and find easier prey with a warning snarl.

Pops never said it aloud, but I knew he was grateful for that. I watched out for him, and he watched out for me. I would have gladly laid down my life for him.

He always smelled of whiskey, ever since Russe and mom were killed. Sometimes it was worse than others, and I remember the nights he'd drink himself into a stupor, until the bottle fell from his fingers. I would lay curled at his feet. When the mornings came, I would lick his face to get him to wake up and he would startle awake and then scratch the fur around my neck with rough affection before pushing me back onto the floor.

I wonder what he's doing now? Is he drinking himself into oblivion without me there to comfort him, lost in his grief and his memories?

I never imagined this. I never thought that I'd end up turning on Pops, and placing myself between him and a clear shot at a wolf, staring calmly down the barrel of his rifle, having faith that no matter what, he wouldn't have it in him to shoot me because of his love for me.

Are things different now? Would Pops put a bullet in me, now that I've gone feral? The truth is, I don't know. The part of me that's a dog yearns to go back to him, back to the way things were, but the wolf part of me knows that I can't, that there's no going back. The wolf half of me overrides and wins out over the dog.

So, what am I now? I used to think I was just a dog, good old, reliable Blue following at the heels of her master and serving him faithfully, but now I'm neither dog nor wolf. I'm somewhere in-between.

That leaves only one final question. Will I be allowed to enter Paradise with the others, or will it be denied to me?

Guess I'll find out when I get there.


	4. Chapter 4

**Heart of Courage**

I run behind the pack, struggling to keep up, and they patiently wait for me.

I have always been the weakest of the group, and the smallest.

We haven't eaten for days, and we need to hunt, and soon.

However, as we traverse across the frozen wasteland, getting ever closer to our destination in search of Paradise, not a single rabbit, deer, or even seal has crossed our path.

I trip and fall, and Hige calls back to me, calling me "runt."

Annoyed, I grumble and rise to my feet, determined to press onwards.

Suddenly, there is a loud crash as some beast destroys the ice floe I'm sitting on.

I fall into the freezing water, scrambling out quickly, soaking wet and shivering.

As Hige helps me run to safety, we hear the beast rise up behind us and we turn around to look.

It is a massive walrus. The biggest animal I've ever seen.

In a flash, two blurs bolt past us, one grey and the other white.

Kiba and Tsume attack the walrus, but the animal swats them away like they're nothing more than flies.

I can only sit and tremble, shivering from shock and fear.

Kiba screams in pain as one of the beast's tusks pierces into his leg.

No. My friends are going to die.

Die protecting _me_.

This can't be happening. _This can't be happening!_

His scream jars me back to reality, and I suddenly know what I must do. I feel raw instinct seize me and I run at the walrus, jumping and aiming for his one good eye, my jaws clamping shut over the lid.

The beast rears back, bellowing in rage, spinning and then crashing through the ice, submerging us both.

Desperately, the creature tries to shake me loose as it swims in a blind panic. I hold on tightly as my body is bruised and battered and the walrus swims through a field of icicles.

As I'm dragged through the water, hanging on with every ounce of strength I have, I begin to run out of air and the frigid water threatens to fill my burning lungs. Adrenaline sings through me and I've never felt more savage or alive.

Then, the beast finally emerges into the open air again and is finally able to throw me off, and I sail through the air and land on my feet in a graceful landing, snarling a challenge at the walrus drips blood, giant icicles protrude from it's body like spikes, one of its tusks has been broken during our skirmish and blood drips from its grievous wounds.

I will stand my ground. I refuse to be afraid anymore. I will not die a coward. I will die with the pride, courage, and dignity of a wolf, so that if it's my time to go to the after life, I can do it without regrets, knowing I gave my life defending my pack.

The behemoth then crashes to the ground, defeated.

As the adrenaline wears off and my pulse returns to normal

With its dying breath, the walrus offers itself to us to feast on, so that we will have the strength to continue our journey.

Since the kill is mine, Kiba grants me the honor of being the first to tear into the carcass. As I take the first bites, the other three soon join me, and we gorge ourselves on the meat, and I silently thank the walrus for his sacrifice.

For three days, we eat until there is nothing left but bones, picked clean of every single scrap of flesh. We make sure none of it goes to waste.

When we finally move on, I feel strengthened, renewed...changed. Transformed. As if I've been reborn, somehow. No longer am I meek or timid, and there's a certain new confidence to my step now that wasn't there before.

I now feel like I can take on anything.

I know that we'll open up Paradise.

Nothing can stop us now.

I'm coming, Granny.


End file.
